Adhesive Capsulitis

It took about 7 years of slight pain, and then one day--BAM!!! Complete pain in both shoulders, both hips, and both knees. I had no idea what this was all about! One day I was on the riding lawn mower when the pain hit my hip so badly that I involuntarily FLEW myself off the mower and onto the ground! (Fortunately, the mowers turn themselves off when you get off of the seat.)

I went to an orthopedist, who sent me to a physical therapist with instruction to immobilize my worst shoulder for three weeks. After three weeks there was no ease in pain and I couldn't move my right arm to save my life. The orthopedist took vials of blood out of me to test for Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, etc. I ended up crying uncontrollably, in the physical therapist's office, at the thought of having a terminal illness.

So, fortunately, the tests came back negative, so the orthopedist decided I had Adhesive Capsulitis or "Frozen Shoulder". Now, the physical therapist's instructions were to do the very opposite of what he had been doing for three weeks. Now, rather than immobilize my shoulder, he had to force it to move to "break" or "unfreeze" it. From September to December, three days a week, he tortured me as he forced my straight arm back over my head. I screamed and people stared, but it worked. I was "thawed" enough in December to go home and complete the "defrost" process on my own. Did you know it's almost impossible to torture one's self? It is. But I did it, and by April, I was as good as new.

Then the other shoulder started up again. It never got as bad as the first one, but still, I tortured myself for almost a year until this one went away. Then the hips started getting bad again. The whole time, my knees were almost as stiff as planks and getting up out of a chair, climbing stairs, or squatting down to the ground and getting up again just about killed me! I'd have to torture each joint by bending limbs in ways they didn't normally want to go. For example, I'd have to bend my arm up behind my shoulder blades and lay on it, facing the ceiling. Oh, how this hurt. For my knees, it was purely accidental therapy: Mrs. Tanner had passed away and we had two days to clean out her whole three-story home of items collected for, literally, a full century. I ran up and down stairs about a thousand times, ignoring the pain in my knees, until at length, it really didn't hurt anymore. It was as if the pain had to be "squeezed-out" of my joints.

About 10 years later, I was on a plane, returning from a friend's funeral. I sat next to a Chiropractor and we were discussing auto-immune illnesses, etc.. I told him I had never been to a Chiropractor before, but that the only problem I had ever had was Adhesive Capsulitis. He said that women who had the old silicone breast implants used to suffer from "frozen" joints when the implants developed leaks. It is called "Bio-Chemical Stress". He asked if I had ever worked with chemicals and I said I absolutely had--pesticides and herbicides. I mentioned that I always wore gloves and a long-sleeved shirt, but shorts showing bare legs, and that I only wore a face mask if I was spraying at face level. Often, the breeze would blow and I would get the spray on my legs or face. I always bathed within a few hours, but since our skin is an organ, it absorbed into my system faster than I could get it washed off, I guess. Also, I'm sure I unwittingly inhaled more than my share of chemicals. I also mentioned to him that at that same time, I quite often had a strong metalic taste in my mouth. He suggested that this was caused frm my liver. He said it was probably being affected by the chemicals. OH GREAT!!! I was killing myself!!! He asked if I have had any symptoms since then, and I was able to tell him that I have not had symptoms of any kind in many years. He said that the chemicals are most likely out of my system. I asked if there was a chance that someday they might come back and rear their ugly head in the form of cancer, etc. This, he didn't know. Nevertheless, I had just received some life-saving free medical knowledge. STAY AWAY FROM PESTICIDES AND HERBICIDES! It was good to have the mystery solved about why my joints froze-up; I just wish I had knows sooner. I could have unknowingly killed myself!

Let The Games Begin!

The buyers have started coming to look at my house. I know a trick to impress people: Keep your closets and cabinets pristine! Seriously! I folded all the towels and sheets in my linen closet in a perfect manner, stacked or lined-up like soldiers and EVERYONE comments about how great it looks! It seems to go a long way on the impression scale.

One couple came. About in their late 30s, I guess. They looked at everything. They came back the next day. They looked at everything again. Then they asked if my house was earthquake-proof. Well, I don't really know. I told her it was built in 1959, just like all the other houses around here. Were any houses earthquake-proofed back then? She was very concerned. They never came back.

Another couple asked me if I could "hold" my house for four months for them and let them know if anyone else wanted to buy it, so they could have first dibs. "DIBS"?!?! I said couldn't make any promises because I needed to sell immediately for a new employment reasons. I guess I lost that sale, too. Oh, well.

House For Sale

I keep my house pretty clean, so there was little to do to spruce it up for the big sale.

I choose to sell by-owner--saves on Realtor fees, etc. I got a Realtor friend to run some "comps" for me and I set my price at "Win/Win". As soon as the sign went up, the neighbors started calling. One woman said, "You'll NEVER get that price for this house!!!" Thanks, lady! The nerve!

Mom Freaked-Out!!!

I called my parents to tell them the good news! My dad seemed good with it, but my mom expressed great concern about my mind-set. It seems that "throwing away" an MBA to become a gardener is not her idea of tuition money well-spent.

I'm An Estate Manager!!!

Well, three days and three interviews later, and I'm officially an "Estate Manager"! Couldn't be happier! They told me I was only one of THREE applicants/candidates. They said that if the want-ad had not been anonymous, they would have had THOUSANDS apply. So they got people who really wanted the job, not people who just wanted to work for someone famous. Good plan.

Duties include: caretaking of three private residence properties--one in town, one in the mountains, and one in another state; chauffeuring in the owner's Lincoln, Mercedes, and Rolls Royce (yeah, baby!); yard-work; hiring contract workers; managing a few other workers, etc.

Not too shabby!

Pay is completely sufficient: Nice salary, house to live in, paid utilities, paid cell-phone, pick-up truck with paid gas, internet and cable TV, paid holidays and sick leave. I will be employed by the company which the family owns, so I get the same benefits as the other employees.

They told me I have to move to the caretaker home on the property, which just happens to be not too far from where I live. I shouldn't have a problem selling my house; it's a good, middle-of-the-road, solid home in a great neighborhood.

I'm gonna have to have a yard-sale!

Newspaper Ad Response!

Got call for interview! I didn't know if the job would be local or in Switzerland or where, but it didn't matter-- Change is good! (or, so I've been hearing lately!)

I thought the interview went well. I think they especially liked me because I've been fingerprinted by the FBI, (for work, I swear!), and I think that made them think I may be a trust-worthy bet. Who knows.

Nevertheless, I found out that the "estate" is local, so I wouldn't need to move to Switzerland, and the "elderly self-sufficient couple" is a very well-known local philanthropist. COOL!

Newspaper Ad

I answered an anonymous ad in my local newspaper:

Wanted:
Couple or team to be
Caretakers/Landscapers/Chauffeurs/Security
for elderly self-sufficient couple
and 30-acre estate. Must have good
driving records. Apply to
P.O. Box ####### in care of
this newspaper.

Now, everyone knows not to apply to anonymous want-ads. How stupid do you think I am?!

So, I immediately applied.

I just typed up a letter telling "them" what I know about what they want, pointing-out that I don't know everything, but I do know where to go for help, and sent it along with my resume, which I tweaked to fit the job at-hand.

I now consider myself officially out of the corporate world. This is getting EXCITING!!

Stay tuned.

Good-bye Corporate World!

Decided to abandon life in the corporate world once and for all. Thought to self, "There must be more to life than commuting, phones, office gossip, taking orders from demanding people who can barely tie their own shoelaces, not being acknowledged for a good idea, long hours, kissing-up and brown-nosing. There's got to be something suited to my type-B personality that I'm not thinking of; something completely different (cue Monty Python's Flying Circus "...and now for something completely different!"). I need to think outside the box.

Perhaps I should try my hand at acting; that's way outside my box! Nah, I'm not a good liar and acting, to me, is like lying as a profession. Also, I don't want to compete for parts. Truth be told, I'm not competitive at all; I can't even pretend to be competitive. On top of that, Julia Roberts and George Clooney have nothing to worry about once they get a good look at me. Quite laughable, actually, (not that that's always a bad thing in the acting world, I guess).

They say-- If you do what you like, you'll never work a day in your life. So, the question is: What do I like?...

I like animals! So, I thought about training dogs to find other lost dogs. Interesting idea. I don't know if it's ever been done yet. I'll put that one on hold for now.

I like walking for exercise! So, I thought of becoming a world-renowned "Walking Guru" and making CDs of different pace-levels of walking tunes. Kind of like a Richard Simmons or Jane Fonda for the walking world. Another one to put on the back burner of my brain.

I like yard-work! But, as a born-and-raised U.S. citizen, can I even compete in that world? Can I make above minimum wage? Never-mind, I don't speak a foreign language.

I like working alone! I'm a very capable person with an independent mind and I don't need anyone telling me what to do or how or when to do it because I already know; I'm just that smart!

So, I went on-line for inspiration. (I love technology; it is SO COOL! I honestly don't know how civilization got even this far without the internet! "Thank you, Al Gore. I love you man!") I fiddled around a bit and something led my brain to run a search on "Estate Management".

Some great websites to find Estate Management positions are:

• www.caretaker.org
• www.heartlandcaregivers.com
• www.housecarers.com
• www.distinguisheddomestics.com
• www.homestaffingnetwork.com
• www.caretaker-jobs.com
• www.homedetailsinc.com
• www.in-housestaffing.com

So anyway--
I logged-in to some and paid a small fee for another and answered my very first non-corporate ads for...

WANTED:
Personal Slave to do all grunt work
that we don't want to do ourselves
because we are filthy stinkin' rich
and extremely conceited.
We will pay you in peanuts
because we don't respect you
or your educational background,
and because we can.

...with much success!!!

The vast majority of the ads were for the rich and famous, rich and snobbish, rich and elderly, and just plain rich. However, some were for ranch hands or property-sitting. The latter two looked especially appealing, however, I have absolutely no experience with horses and the property sitting positions didn't pay as much as I'd like.

But I figured, "I'm qualified; I'm not stupid; I can lift a finger; in fact, I actually LOVE to work; I just don't like the corporate world.

I applied for a few positions that met my qualifications and, surprise of all surprises, unlike most newspaper want-ads, I actually heard back from most of them, and in a short period of time, to boot!

I'm delighted, to say the least!

Stay tuned.